Sesame Street Gets Paved Over

By Jimmy J. Pack Jr., editor of wordmagonline.com

In 1969, after Minister Fred Rogers, host of a local kids’ TV show in Pittsburgh, PA, went to congress to explain to 435 morons elected by the moron electorate why it would behoove the nation for the federal government to invest money in a government-run educational television network, Sesame Street went on the air. The original idea was to create a children’s television show that not only entertained but taught children lessons both of the moral and intellectual kind.

The ideas behind the show were ingenious for the time. Make sure no skits lasted more than 3 minutes. Involve a series of moving images that involved live-action as well as animation. As a matter of fact, The Muppets, who made their national debut (and are now, sadly, slaves to the Disney Corp.) on Sesame Street, were originally only supposed to exist within their own skits, but were later incorporated on Sesame Street with the neighbors.

The Neighborhood of Sesame Street was supposed to be lower-middle class neighborhood you’d see in any major American metropolis. Ok, so a lot of the characters were stereotypes — Mr. Hooper the Jewish shop-keep, David the Jive-talkin’ store help, and Bob, the slightly effeminate single guy who…well, let’s say never got married — but all the character went beyond their stereotypes and were never defined by them (especially Susan and Gordon, a middle-class hard-working black couple who eventually adopt a child in the 1990s).

The 1970s were the Golden Years of the series. What we have now is a shell-of-an-idea that has deteriorated to little less than a big steaming pile of Barney the Purple Dinosaur’s shit. As a matter of fact, if there was any justice, one might find one of Elmo’s legs sticking out of one of those piles.

The 1970’s possessed the true spirit of the show. Viewers got the sense that the people creating it really knew their audience. For instance, for years, as a child, I remember Big Bird trying to introduce his reddish-brown wooly mammoth pal Mr. Snuffleupagus to his neighbors on Sesame Street, but for some reason Snuffy seemed to disappear before anyone could see him.

The residents of Sesame Street thought Big Bird had an imaginary friend, and for years Big Bird struggled trying to convince his neighbors that his giant cabbage-eating pal was real. It was one of the longest running jokes on TV. The tension lasted far longer than the romance of J.R. and Sue Ellen.

Come 1985 when the PhDs, most of whom never really taught inner-city kids (nor even took a second to think that not all kids, no matter who they were, learned the same way), decided that everyone would believe Big Bird because they didn’t want to send kids the message that parents didn’t believe what they said. Particularly if children were being abused. But let’s face it — most parents don’t believe half the things their kids tell them.

“Mommy, there’s a monster under the bed.”

“Mommy, Anwar Sadat is licking my feet.”

“Mommy, they are going to renew Homes and Yo-Yo for a another season.”

As the 70s progressed, so many other Muppets and characters were scratched — Roosevelt Franklin, who was seen as a “negative cultural stereotype.” You know, he was black and rhymed… oh, and went to a bad school. Being black and going to a bad school… yeah, this is really far fetched. Because, here in Philly, all the schools a quality learning centers, particularly in areas predominantly black.



How about Don Music, the Muppet who would try to write songs and whenever he encountered writer’s block would slam his head on the piano. They got rid of him because his self-inflicting punishment was also seen as a bad influence.

Hell, I remember it took me years before I would walk by a piano without smashing my face on it.

And barely anyone remembers Sam the Super-Automated Robot, a large Muppet Robot with a pair of cymbals for a mouth who never got one single answer correct. He went the same way our beloved Yip-Yip-Yip-Yip Martians went — somewhere in the bottom of Oscar’s can. There’s even talk that Cookie Monster’s obsessive-compulsive behavior is a negative influence, unhelped by the fact that he ingests large quantities of such fattening foods.

Today, Sesame Street should probably be called The Elmo Show, and quite often Elmo won’t even be on Sesame Street, but on another street perpendicular to our beloved locale, and instead of being a grey, dirty street, it’s colorful with painted buildings and clean streets. You know, like in fairy tales.

If there were any justice, The Count would take Elmo and his sister, Zoe, into Time Square where lonely businessmen from Omaha can bugger them in an alleyway for $11 bucks. Eleven! Ah ah ah ah ah! That’s right. Tear the back of their felt throats with a diseased [EXPLETIVE DELETED - ed.] and then dump their bodies in a Rubbermaid trashcan.

There was a reality to Sesame Street in the 1970s that today’s Sesame Street completely lacks. Instead of growing out of what it used to be, Sesame Street competes with Barney and Dora the Whora.

Keep the 1970’s Sesame Street in your hearts, and never ask anyone how to get to Sesame Street. You can never go back there again.